Would You Try Not To Bleed On People, Please?
It will happen. You will get cut on stage. I don’t know how it will happen, but it will. An unexpected sharp edge on a prop, an exposed nail, whatever, and BAM, you’re bleeding. It won’t be bad enough to cause you to scream “it’s just a flesh wound” with a British accent, but it will be enough that it needs to be bandaged immediately so you can move on with the show.
SOLUTION: Have a bandaid at the ready. Have a few. Keep them in your wallet, prop case or any place that is quickly and easily accessible
What, First The Bleeding, And Now Mucus?!
Thankfully my awesome bodily fluid series is ending with this entry, so let’s finish it big with a truth bomb:
There will come a time on stage where you will have to blow your nose.
SOLUTION: Always have a handkerchief in your pocket.
Better to blow your nose than repeated sniffles, or even worse, well, that’s just too gross to type, so just blow your nose.
Road Story: That’s Just Too Gross To Type
Well, here we are.
I was performing the miser’s dream in an elementary school assembly, concluding the routine with the classic bit of the coins coming out of the kids’ nose.
Don’t get ahead of me.
The kid blows — I mean actually blows — out her nose and …
IF YOU’RE READING THIS WHILE EATING, PLEASE SIGN THIS WAIVER.
…and a footlong string of mucus comes out of her nose and hangs there.
I am embarrassed to say I just froze. Froze. Me. The guy that got the nickname Doc from working as an EMT on an ambulance as a teen. The guy who gave aid to car accident victims, assault victims, murder victims (Wow, Doc. Rough neighborhood much?) just froze.
Thankfully, after about two seconds …two super long seconds …a teacher raced up on stage with a tissue.
Epilogue (Thank you, Quinn Martin): I was booked back for the next year.
Until Next Time,
PS: While you’re here , check out the store. This tricks are nothing to sneeze at. (See what I did there?), feel free to check out the store: